Jan
11
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I haven’t written a post in over a year. This blog is dead. To me and about 5 other people, we will look back on this website and think “Natsukashii~” (Get it? Because it’s the name AND the expression! THAT’S how clever I once was). Others will look back, and scoff, especially after that last attempt to be funny. I doubt don’t think anyone during my “time” (which I have deemed The Golden Age of ani-blogging) still blogs, either. Well, I can’t say “doubt” because I haven’t actually checked, but I think it’s a safe assumption. I also think it is okay to claim that I am officially an “oldbie” now. I don’t even know if Lolikit still blogs, and he’s the one who hosts me. What I DO know, is that my hero Garten doesn’t blog anymore. I always wanted to meet him, shake his hand, thank him, kidnap him, and have him tell me bed time stories… anything. Unfortunately, that stuff wont happen and  it seems I’m going off on a tangent already, so I’ll get to that in a bit. I need to set it all up first:

The other day, I was killing time before going out to dinner, so I decided to check up on Anime Nano. After skimming the first two pages, NOTHING was familiar to me. “How could that even be possible?”, I asked myself, but with more profanity and saying something entirely different (the idea is the same though). I used to check Anime News Network, Blogsuki, Animeblogger.net, Anime Nano, Tokyo Toshokan, and all these different blogs religiously. I would put aside at least an hour everyday to go through the works and catch up on the latest news and start downloading the “it” shows. I WAS AT THE TOP OF MY GAME. I KNEW WHAT EVERYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT. I WAS THE SHIT (hence the caps).

Now, I go to none of them, and recognize nothing (here, caps are only at the beginning of the sentence and proper nouns). Instead of reading up on all the new stuff by visiting the newer generation blogs, I decided to further live in the past and just go to “Anime Blog Directory” and sort them by popularity seeing how all my old friends are doing. I couldn’t get past the third blog on the list before I had to leave, but an imprint was left on me.

Memento, the number one blog, is what inspired me to blog in the first place, and the only writing to ever make me cry. Now it’s gone. I never got to personally talk to him, yet I felt as if a person close to me is gone. The second blog, Basugasu-something-or-other-osu, led me to messaging Hung, and I caught up with him a little bit. He’s out of the scene, too, apparently. I then noticed Sea Slugs. Congrats on your 6th year, by the way. I always wanted to go on forever, like you guys. I saw that the title is still the same, but it’s changed a bit since my Kono Sono days. Time waits for no one. All in all, things have changed since I used to roam that territory, but I wasn’t able to give it another second’s thought the rest of the night.

Flash forward to the next night. I like to get at least 8 hours of sleep when I’m on vacation time, and I had to wake up early so I went to bed at 2. Naturally, seeing as my sleep schedule is so terribly effed up, I ended up just lying there for what seemed like an eternity, tossing back and forth. When you cant sleep, your mind starts to wander to sports, food, missed opportunities at love, the works. I couldn’t help but drift back to thinking about my old blogging days. Kono Sono (now dead), Karoshi (now dead), Heterochromia (now dead) and Natsukashii (now dead) all came flooding back to me. I started to remember the people I’ve met, the comments I’ve read, and the stats I once had: Over 1500 unique visitors a day, 500 returners, ridiculous amounts of hits from random ass places looking for some hentai. I LIVED for that (not the hentai part). I lived for the glory. I wanted to be recognized. I wanted to be remembered. “Natsukashii” was sort of like what one would call a “heat check” in basketball, I just wanted to test to see if we all still had it. It was a last ditch effort to drive in our marks on aniblogging history. Unfortunately, we didn’t last but I appreciate the effort, guys.

Skip to Sunday. I thought about it at various points during the day when I wasn’t napping or watching wild-card football. Pfft, football. What a non-nerdy thing to do. A bunch of sweaty beefed up guys hitting each other. Why not watch some moe anime? Why not watch shoujo? Why not watch anime, period, question mark.

That got me thinking, “Have I finally grown out of it? Was it a gradual thing or did it just happen one day?”

I dont watch anime at all anymore, but I still enjoy reading manga. I really like all my posters but I’m starting to get embarrassed by them even when no one looks at them. I still love Japanese culture, but now I’m totally into Korean culture, too.

The other day, my friend asked me if I was going to Otakon this summer. I told him yes, but I didn’t know when I would stop. We didn’t talk about it anymore, but it bothered me a bit. I went last summer, 2009, and it was vastly different from my other trips. I spent more time in the dealer’s room than going to panels, and I didn’t take a single picture. I started to feel a bit embarrassed. BUT IT WAS WHERE I FELT COMFORTABLE, DAMMIT. Sure, I am embarrassed for Narutards or people that take it too far, but I still liked the shit. Hell, I wouldn’t even be here if Megatokyo didn’t link one of my posts in the first place that got me really going. I’m attending again this year and buying a bunch of useless crap like I always do (mostly phone charms because I go through 3 per year, minimum). And when it is all said and done, I’ll become normal again in the normal, hard as nails, real world.

Now that I’m progressing in my education, I realize that life’s not all fun and games anymore. I wanted to be a publisher, so I could work with Del Rey -or something-, and do something I love everyday. What with this crappy economy, I’ve had to modify my plan. I am now becoming an English teacher with hopes that I can slowly get into the industry after I’ve stabilized myself. I’d even work for Tokyopop if need be. It’s my third major change in as many years. I PLANNED on having my future revolve around this stuff, and now I’m slowly growing out of it? Some could argue that I was all but forced out of it. I think it’s both. Talk about bad life decisions. Yet somewhere, deep down inside me, I think that if I DID get a job publishing manga, I’d at least be happy.

Truth be told, I’m having a hard time writing this. Hung made me do it. No. Actually, Hung gave me the idea and I wanted to get that high one more time. This blog post wont bring back my youth. I’m not getting back the many many hours I’ve put into this hobby. It wont bring back my stats nor my comments that I cherished so much, but lost when a random acquaintance I met on the internet stopped hosting me. It wont bring back the massive double digit skype sessions with the random people you’ve never met in your entire life, but you respect as a fellow anime blogger. Hell, it wont bring back the pride I once had in my expression of self.

This is more a blog post you’d find on livejournal than any anime blog post I’ve ever read, but I doubt anyone would read this far anyways. I’m not sure where I’m going with it, either. This is something for me to save and re-read one day. When I used to blog series like Ouran, it flowed out like water, it was beautiful to me. I initially wanted to make someone else cry like I once did, but I was lost to the glamor. Now, it feels like when I was near the end of my blogging career: a bit forced. In the end, this is really just for me. This is my nod of recognition to all the blogs I used to frequent but are now dead and to the community I once thought I’d never leave. I’m just raising my fist, walking away with my back to anime blogging… and maybe some cheesy music in the background.

“Did somebody say shoujo?!”

- Os

27 comments to “Ramblings: The Age Old Issue of Knowing When To Stop”

  1. Comment by HinanoNo Gravatar:

    I think its more because the anime industry is in the crapper anyway. Every new shows sucks, I find myself watching less and less. Just like you back in 2006 where I’d watch 17 shows per week, I’m now down to watch 3 per week, and they are mostly continuations from the Spring and Fall long running shows.

    I honestly don’t look at anime nano anymore either, and I don’t know half the blogs on there anymore. I think it’s because most people have taken their discussions to google reader, why not join the fun if you’re so nostalgic? :)

  2. Comment by HungNo Gravatar:

    tl;dr

    Just kidding!

    I think that once you have seen a particular number of anime, they all start looking the same, except for some maybe unique exceptions. Then you get show fatigued because really, why am I spending my time watching the same show over and over again? Oh, and maybe you go to school or get a girlfriend or something. Anime seems like something you do when you don’t have anything better to do. And once you find something better to do, you punt anime to the corner. Gladly I have not had to come crawling back to it.

  3. Comment by wahNo Gravatar:

    No need to make a big deal over losing interest in cartoons. It almost sounds like you feel bad for it.

    You don’t watch anime anymore, big whoop. Some weirdos keep with it (me) others go off and live a real life (you).

    So long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters. Don’t get all teary eyed for the days when you used to be a nerd.

    By the way, I’m pretty sure this is one of the two posts I read on this blog.

  4. Comment by TenNo Gravatar:

    Dorama buddy! Too bad we didn’t last. As short as it was, it was fun. Yes. Sometimes we cling to the nostalgia of yesteryear. However, interests and priorities change. It’s not necessarily a bad or a good thing. We’re geeks at heart. But geekery can transpose in other areas of our lives, right?

  5. Comment by Baka-RaptorNo Gravatar:

    Turning a hobby into a career might not be fun and could ruin your hobby. Just look at yourself. You’ve already gotten down on your hobby because you tried to turn it into a career and failed (so far). Teach English for now (Great Teacher Os), enjoy it as best you can, and on the side, learn to have fun with anime/manga again.

  6. Comment by OsNo Gravatar:

    Ha ha ha. Good to hear from people I respect.

    Hung sorta said it, tl;dr. I didn’t expect anyone to, actually. Maybe I’m finally going through puberty and that’s why I just wanted to write this (just saw Youth in Revolt). I think I finally got to it at the end of the post. I dont feel bad, per se, I wanted to pay just respects. It started because of Garten and well, I wanna just thank everyone else for coincidentally being there when I was there.

  7. Comment by DiGiKerotNo Gravatar:

    Great, you’ve got me feeling all melancholic now. I hope you are happy about that.

  8. Comment by lolikitsuneNo Gravatar:

    I love how you post out of nowhere, Ossum Possum, and then a bunch of people from ‘our time’ reply. Oh wait. You were way before most of them, even. OMG YOU’RE SO PRO.
    I miss you bro. Hopefully I’ll see you again soon.

    And damn you for being GTO. I’ll only ever be GTM, GTF GTL, etc.

  9. Comment by kozuNo Gravatar:

    cool story, bro.

    If it matters. I still do the occasional aniblogging on my own blog. (not much, but it’s there)

    Wow, 3rd major change? Last I remember I thought you were in business?

  10. Comment by hayaseNo Gravatar:

    *salute*

  11. Comment by Mistakes of Youth: The Blog (Powered by EXCELLENCE!) » Blog Archive » Talkin’ ‘Bout Jaded Fans: THAT ANIME SHIT? YEAH, I USED TO LIKE IT. NOW I WATCH SPORTS AND FUCK WOMEN.:

    [...] that guy I used to talk to on AIM a lot) made a post on the latest incarnation of his blog saying he’s outta here. Gone for gone. Packing his bags. While his post in itself didn’t offend me, it was a comment [...]

  12. Comment by TheBigNNo Gravatar:

    What wah said. And also, if you still enjoy the hobby, it doesn’t matter how much you indulge in it if you still enjoy it. I say this with little time myself to watch anime as much as in previous years, and I still enjoy the stuff. If you don’t enjoy it anymore, then there’s no problem. I’d still say that since it had been something you poured a lot of your life into to check it back out every once in a while to see how it’s doing at least, but that’s me. Good luck and see you at Otakon (hopefully). :P

  13. Comment by usagijenNo Gravatar:

    The Melancholy of OS. Reminds me of the time, energy & money paradox of life. When you’re young, you’ve got all the time and energy, but no monies. When you start working, you get to have monies and still have the energy, but no time. When you’re old and retired, you get monies and time, but no more energy. That’s the usual case perhaps, though some people are able to grow old and still be at the top of their game, remain passionate even after years.

    Anime used to be at the foreground of your life, now it’s just in the background, and you notice that things start to mellow down. Nothing wrong with that. It’s just a hobby after all. If your love for anime/manga remains, then it will manifest itself in another way. And you’ll find yourself appreciating it, through a different lens perhaps.

  14. Comment by Tatto PaperNo Gravatar:

    Being a blog writer myself, I really appreciate the time you took in wriitng this article. I am currently reading it on my Blackberry and will scan it once I get home.

  15. Comment by suvarnaNo Gravatar:

    Nothing wrong with that. It’s just a hobby after all. If your love for anime/manga remains, then it will manifest itself in another way. And you’ll find yourself appreciating it, through a different lens perhaps.

  16. Comment by JayOxNo Gravatar:

    It’s like that song you hear on the radio that’s really catchy. At first you love it and can’t get enough of it. Then it starts to get old until you finally can’t stand it. Later, when you haven’t heard it for a while you can still enjoy it, but its never as wonderful as that first time period. I think many of our interests in life are like this. Maybe you’ll find something new to be equally as passionate about.

  17. Comment by MichaelNo Gravatar:

    I’ve been writing for a significant amount of time right now. I just hope you’ll be doing better later on in life. :)

  18. Comment by Watch this AnimeNo Gravatar:

    No need to make a big deal over losing interest in cartoons. It almost sounds like you feel bad for it.

    You don’t watch anime anymore, big whoop. Some weirdos keep with it (me) others go off and live a real life (you).

    So long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters. Don’t get all teary eyed for the days when you used to be a nerd.

    By the way, I’m pretty sure this is one of the two posts I read on this blog.

  19. Comment by FionaNo Gravatar:

    sometimes I like to visit blog to read people comments about anime and other stuff. It’s the first time I’ve been in your blog.
    I found interesting the way you discribe how life make us evolve. Like you I used to watch a lot of anime, but not anymore. Now I prefer reading manga. As we get older we have have different tastes, more mature. But I know I’ll keep on with this hobby because it’s great to have an escape by imagination from the tough reality.
    I’ve also noticed the closing of numerous blogs and scanlations teams. I think a page is turning, and it will be not as prosperous and enriching as it was.
    Wish you good luck for the future

  20. Comment by Kanji LearnerNo Gravatar:

    Well, I guess this comment will never reach you then, but still… I read your story, and what I would like to tell you is:
    You can make a living in ANY kind of niche. A lot of people makes plenty of money with their blogs about anime and Japanese culture… just look at Danny Choo :D

    You might have a job as an English teacher now, but that shouldn’t stop you from figuring out how to make money doing something that truly makes you happy. Maybe it’s not anime/manga anymore, but I bet you have more passions (like Korean culture!)

    I’d tell you: Keep having your job in order to keep sustaining yourself, but use every bit of time you have left to research and learn how you can make money from doing what you love. A good rule of thumb? Think about the problems or issues people have in the niche of your choice, and think how you can train yourself to help those people. Then, with lots of persistence and tears of blood, you might start earning enough to quit your job and dedicate full time to your passion.

    I hope I’m clear with what I expressed here. I wish you success and happiness in life OS! :D

  21. Comment by Clement GallegherNo Gravatar:

    I enjoy reading your blog’s articles and all and i like the theme also the visuals but perhaps it requires a change, its been a long time, who else agrees with me?

  22. Comment by Eye Floaters CureNo Gravatar:

    When I went to school I stayed in the Dorms. I think they are the most enjoyable place to stay there. Some people rent condos, but I still don’t think that is the way to go.

  23. Comment by Bob MillerNo Gravatar:

    Well, I don’t know if I agree with a lot of the comments. How exactly is the anime industry struggling right now? I actually think it is one of the few international industries that is doing relatively well at the moment. They do seem to have a lot of trouble knowing when to stop though - why do stories which are ended by regular shows in a month dragged on for three years when it comes to anime?
    -bob from architect cape town

  24. Comment by seanNo Gravatar:

    As I look back on life as you have I wonder how I have changed so much. It’s amazing that things which meant so much to us at one point and consumed so much of our time have gone by the waste side. This is definitely not something to be upset about. That is life. We go through life and our interest and priorities change over the years. That does not mean we can not take those special moments to reflect on the fond memories we have of those favorite past times of days gone by.

  25. Comment by Jake GreenNo Gravatar:

    Sean makes an interesting point. If one looks at their life in retrospect, one can see just how much the human mind develops over the years. Everybody changes as they grow up, and nothing can be done about it.

  26. Comment by marineNo Gravatar:

    salut réellement, cool ton blog j’adore, j’aime le hentai, et de la culture japonaise en gros, mon hentai préfère c’est Cosplay Cafe une pure bombe cette anime, après j’en ai vu beaucoup, j’ai découvert il y à pas longtant un super site sexe hentai, tu me dira ce que t’en penses, bon je parle je parle, je doit te souler :) sinon toi c’est quoi tes hentai préféré? voilà gros bizou.

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